


A Letter to Anders

by Kunstpause



Series: Cut From The Same Cloth [3]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Background Leliana/Warden (Dragon Age), Friendship, Gen, Letter, Male-Female Friendship, Post-Awakening, Post-Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:28:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25178449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kunstpause/pseuds/Kunstpause
Summary: Aren Surana, Warden-Commander and Hero of Ferelden, thought that her friends Anders and Justice died in the Darkspawn attack on Amaranthine. Only when Carver Hawke becomes a Warden does she realize that he actually fled to Kirkwall. When Carver returns to Kirkwall to visit his sisters, she gives him a letter for Anders... with an important message.
Relationships: Anders & Female Warden (Dragon Age), Anders & Warden (Dragon Age), Hero of Ferelden & Anders
Series: Cut From The Same Cloth [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1672684
Comments: 5
Kudos: 13





	A Letter to Anders

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Mind Lies, Not The Heart](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23497735) by [Elveny](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elveny/pseuds/Elveny), [Kunstpause](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kunstpause/pseuds/Kunstpause). 



> This is the letter that Anders receives in [Chapter 17 of The Mind Lies, Not The Heart](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23497735/chapters/61018825).  
> It can be read without knowledge of the story, though.

Anders,

I must have started this letter about a dozen times by now, but here we go again. Maybe this time, it will amount to something.

By now you should know from Carver that I drafted a formal letter for Kirkwall’s authorities, placing you officially in the city on a permanent basis. I can only guess you are not seeing this as a good thing. To that, I can only say that I am not sorry, and I will not accept any debate on that topic. I may not be able to do much for you anymore, but you can be certain I’ll still do the things I can.

I miss you.

And that was not what I wanted to actually write down, but if I scratch it out now, I’ll have to start the letter over yet again and I am really thinking the 12th time should be the charm, right? So I’m laying it all out.

I was devastated when you left because I was convinced you and Justice were dead. Because I thought that I had failed you. And it took me a long time to mourn you. 

And then Nathaniel tells me you are alive. Not only that, Justice is alive too, and you two are out there, doing something stupidly brave and reckless. He also told me you were worried that we wouldn’t offer the help your friend needed because of what you did. Because we might be angry at you.

I can’t speak for anyone else, but to my own surprise, I wasn’t angry at all. Not even for a moment. From the second Nathaniel told me, all I felt was relief. Relief and elation at the knowledge that my friend was still alive. Even though he probably doesn’t consider himself my friend anymore. And that is my fault, I know that. 

I can’t blame you for the way you left, as much as I wanted to. (And believe me, I really wanted to…) It would have been easier if I could have just cursed your name and be angry. So much easier than having to look at the circumstances that led to all of this. Because the truth is; even though neither you nor Justice died — I still failed you. 

I didn’t take the threats against you seriously enough. I had gotten so used to my own status, of being a free mage Warden that no one could raise a hand against that I didn’t see that people were treating me differently than they treated you. Likewise, I was so used to dealing with spirits and demons alike, to traveling around with a mage that housed a spirit of faith within herself that I didn’t see clearly how others reacted to Justice’s presence. I didn’t realize that being on the road during the Blight with a group of like-minded people was something entirely different from the situation in Amaranthine. I did come to see it, eventually. But it was too late by then, and for that I am sorry.

Anders, if you can believe anything, I hope it is this: I am truly and deeply sorry. For letting things happen, for not seeing what was going on, and for making you feel like the only option you had was to run. And I could never blame you for making that choice. Maker knows, it might have been the only right thing to do.

Remember that first night after your joining? We got horribly drunk, and you told me I had just made a huge mistake in recruiting you. You said you didn’t have what it takes to be a Warden. That you didn’t care about others enough to put your life in peril for theirs, and that you would be a terrible disappointment. 

I called you a liar back then. I still think I was right.

Carver told me a bit of what you were doing over there in Kirkwall. Only bits and pieces from the letters his sisters write to him, but I smile every time he tells me something new. Because whether you want to see it or not, you are a Warden through and through. You care. You ran away from persecution into the most dangerous city I can think of, and the first thing you apparently did there was open up a clinic. That doesn’t sound like a disappointment at all. In fact, I suspect you just might have this whole helping others thing down better than anyone else I know, myself included. 

So, to end this long, sappy, and overly wordy way of me telling you that I love you, I just want to ask you one more time to please accept what little help I can give. And please don’t worry about me being angry at you anymore. If you can, accept the fact that I will only ever think fondly of you, no matter what.

Oh, and I know you don’t want to come back here, I get that, but for the love of the Maker,  _ please _ , send someone to pick up your damn cat! The poor thing misses you terribly and decided to live in my quarters for some insane reason that probably only people who get cats can understand. I am not those people! Not only am I a dog person through and through, I also have to live with the fact that the cat hair is everywhere. The little beast even sneaks into my backpacks to join me on missions. Do you know how annoying that is?

Besides, Leliana is highly allergic.

I am in a damn long-distance relationship, and I really can’t afford my girlfriend being allergic to every flat surface in my quarters, so I am  _ begging _ you!

I hope the letter finds you well, and I sincerely hope I will see you again one day. Not as your commander but as your friend.

With love and only the highest regards,

Aren Surana

P.S.: I am absolutely serious about the cat thing, Anders! I swear, if Leliana breaks up with me because of  _ your  _ damn cat, I will personally come to Kirkwall and make sure to scare away every potential bed partner of yours for good! Don’t test me!


End file.
